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Fooling Myself

COVID-19 Shelter In Place Day Thirty-four

I’ve tried numerous health kicks and diets over the years.

No sugar.

Low fat.

No wheat.

The list goes on and on.

Why do I torture myself?

Not sure. I must have some masochistic tendencies (lol).

One day I was in the office and a friend stopped by my cubicle.

ME: “You want a cookie?” I held up a bag with some very sad looking cookies in it.

FRIEND: “What kind of cookie is that?” Trying not to wrinkle her nose in disgust.

ME: “Homemade. There’s no sugar, no butter and no wheat.”

FRIEND: “Then why do you call it a cookie?”

ME: Shrugging as I stared at the oval shaped thing in my hand. “Because it makes me feel better.”

We all do it. We lie to ourselves.

And the people who come up with these diets tell us to.

They say, “Use a smaller plate. It’ll trick your mind into thinking you ate more.”

Or they say, “Shred up carrots and put it on salad and other dishes. Your mind will think it’s cheese.”

Come on. Really?

How stupid do you think I am? (apparently, pretty dumb because I’m following their diet)

No one…Let me say this again…NO ONE is going to fall for that. Carrots are not cheese. Not even close.

So, stop lying to yourselves. Eat your cookie if you want it or eat that ball of oat flour and stevia but call it something besides a cookie.

Anything besides a cookie.

Gross.

My punishment.

My penance for past sins.

Anything at all but it’s not a cookie.

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