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Twisted Treasure Hunt

COVID-19 Shelter In Place Day One

First, let me say that there is nothing humorous about COVID-19 or this crazy time. However, laughter is good for us and I tend to search for the humor in all situations (sometimes it’s really, really hard to find, but it’s there).

So, I’m going to try and blog daily. Sometimes, it’ll be about something that happened recently and sometimes it’ll be funny stories from my past. Today, it’s a little of both.

Hope my tale of the Twisted Treasure Hunt gives you a laugh.

Years ago, I lived with my sister and nieces in a rather large house. I don’t know the square footage but there were four bedrooms and two baths upstairs, a bathroom downstairs, a kitchen, dining room, living room and two additional rooms that we used for various things over the years.

When I lived there we had many dogs (kind of a pattern for me). Usually, we ranged from 5-7 at any one time (no we didn’t breed – they were all former strays – or get rid of them until we had to say that final goodbye due to health issues).

It was a good life with fun times and it birthed the Twisted Treasure Hunt.

We’d come home after a long day, ready to eat dinner, plop on the couch and watch some TV, but the dogs had other plans for us.

Open the door.

The dogs greet us — all wagging butts and happy faces

And THEN the smell of dog poop slaps us in the face like a disgusting wet rag (who’d have a shit rag lying around, I don’t know).

The hunt begins.

If you remember, I said the house was large and the dogs were of course no help. Once our faces distorted, trying to protect our nostrils, the dogs would scatter (cowards that they were).

We’d have to walk around the house, room-to-room, sniffing. We didn’t want to. Sniffing your way to brownies or lasagna is fabulous but sniffing to find poop? Not so much.

Well, this lovely experience happened to me again yesterday. It’d been years since I’d embarked on the Twisted Treasure Hunt. I was not thrilled to be experiencing it again.

I now live in a much smaller house. I currently have four dogs. Two of which don’t really like to go outside. It’s crazy. I have a HUGE yard. All the other dogs that have lived here, LOVED being outside. My other two still do but not Louis and Charlie.

And these are not little, fu-fu dogs. Louis is about 90 lbs and Charlie is 75 lbs. They look like boxer/mastiff mixes. They should live to run around outside – smell the deer tracks and fox trails, but nooooo. I have to force them to go off the porch and as soon as they potty they are right back up there with noses to the door, waiting to get back inside.

Well, with being home all day, I must’ve not been as diligent about making them walk with me until they peed and pooped.

I woke after a nice little nap to the scent of dog poop. I did a quick look around my oldest dog, Tricks. She has a bit of an incontinence issue so she was the most likely suspect but there was nothing on her bed but her.

So…the hunt began.

I walked around the house, sniffing (and not at all happy about it). I narrowed it down to the master bedroom but I could not find the shit. It wasn’t in the master bath nor near the bed (it’s a huge bed so there isn’t much room for anything else in there).

I was flummoxed. Where was the poop?

And then I turned on the closet light.

I have two large closets and I keep a bookshelf in one of them. On it are – of course – books. Or that’s what’s supposed to be on it. My cats love to push the books off and sit on those shelves.

The twisted treasure was found.

I lost two books. I still mourn their passing but on the bright side, it was pretty easy to clean up and my house no longer smells like shit.

Talk to you tomorrow and take care out there – be safe, be distant.


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